I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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