I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
