I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
