i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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