So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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