I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Of course I have a pirate flag
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
