it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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