he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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