last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
