Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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