I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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