Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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