He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Say something about gay babies.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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