nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
