There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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