ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
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