She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
