You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
