We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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