drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
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I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
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I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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