Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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