He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
