It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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