I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
