I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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