we have officially mastered the walk of shame
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
