Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
