getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
