So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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