I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
