The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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