I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I touched a dick in church today
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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