why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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