I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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