Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
