Well apparently he's into motor boating.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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