a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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