I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Sober January is a disaster.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
