goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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