I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
