I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
