Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
