Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
