Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Come on in and take your pants off
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