i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
