And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
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It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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