is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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