I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i can't believe i had my finger in that
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
