dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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