The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
