4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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