Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize