I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
