tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize