oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
