She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
