just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
