I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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