He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
